Best purchase

When we bought this little travel bed for M., I thought it might be another one of those silly items that we use just a few times. After all, it's not like we're taking a vacation to Chicago or Paris any time soon.

That said, we use this constantly. She likes it better than her bassinet, and we are happy to comply with whatever helps her sleep.

:)

So disappointing!

Whenever anyone asked how long I planned to work before I took maternity leave, I gave the same answer: "Until my water breaks in the newsroom."

And while that didn't happen, I did work until the evening that I began to have serious contractions. In fact, I was outside in below-freezing weather cleaning inches of snow off my car in the parking lot at work just hours before we were driving to the hospital -- car seat and hospital bag in hand. I even stayed a little late at the office that night because a story broke at 5 p.m., and I was asked to contribute. Naturally, I was glad to help. That's my job. But working until the day before you have a baby is no fun. That's a fact, and unfortunately, more women are just like me, according to the NY Times. (More below.)

Bottom line is: who can afford to do anything else? I certainly didn't want to take time off before I had the baby because that would just take away from my leave time when M. was born. Even now, I can't believe that more than two weeks have gone by, and I will only be spending 9-and-a-half additional weeks with my baby. Then I'll go to seeing her for just a few hours each night. How unnatural.

Again, it's a sign of the times. A very sad sign, in my opinion. (And this brief discussion doesn't even get into all the nuances of short-term leave and the Family Medical Leave Act, which are much less family-friendly than I originally thought.) While the story mentions that a lot of women are going back to work sooner because of the protections FMLA offers, etc., I think it's because most families just can't afford to do otherwise!

From the New York Times...

As women have children later than ever and more work outside the home, they are also working longer into pregnancy and returning to work faster than they did four decades ago, the Census Bureau said Monday.

The trend reflects a number of developments since the early 1960s, including more opportunities for pregnancy leave, paid and unpaid, and increased protections for pregnant women against job discrimination.

In the early part of that decade, 44 percent continued to work during pregnancy; that rose to 67 percent among women who gave birth to their first child between 2001 and 2003.

The share who quit work before or after giving birth dropped to 25 percent, from about 36 percent in the late 1980s. (Comparable data from the 1960s was not available.) Nearly half took paid leave. Fewer than 4 percent said they were fired from their jobs before or after giving birth.

Fully 80 percent of the women who worked during their pregnancy from 2001 to 2003 continued to do so into the last month of pregnancy, compared with 35 percent in 1961-65.

In the early part of this decade, 55 percent returned to work within six months after giving birth; that figure was 14 percent in the early 1960s...
For the rest of the story, click here.

Fashion debut...

Three girls and an ancient tradition

To celebrate my birthday, my mum and M. took me out to lunch at Dragon Palace. It was more meaningful than an average trip to a Chinese restaurant -- even more monumental than our first trip to a restaurant with the baby. It was, in fact, the passing on of an ancient tradition among the women in my family.

See, some of my favorite memories as a child were spent over tea, egg drop soup and almond chicken at Lim's Chinese restaurant on Michigan Avenue in Dearborn. My mom, grandma and I used to trek over to Lim's on special occasions -- grandma's birthday or mother's day. Going out to eat was a big deal to me because we couldn't afford to do it very often, so I savored every last drop of bitter tea (heavily sugared) and slurped every last bit of my golden yellow egg drop soup. But the best part of the trips was the girl talk. I felt so big, sitting there with my mom and grandma as we chatted about grown-up topics and discussed whether our personalities matched the descriptions (dictated by the year we were born) printed on the colorful placemats. (I -- the year of the Tiger -- was a born leader, courageous but warm-hearted.)

Yesterday marked a new tradition with a new girl in the family. I can't wait for all the dozens of afternoons to come as M. grows into a little girl and also savors that bitter tea over important topics with mom and grandma, like whether M. likes her teachers, is enjoying her French lessons, loves Charles Bukowski (as I do), adores Mint Milano cookies (like grandma) or whether her personality really fits the description written on the colorful placemat for her Chinese zodiac sign -- the year of the rat.


From Chinese.astrology.com...
Though the Western rat is reviled as little more than a bottom-dwelling disease carrier, this animal is viewed much differently in the East. The Eastern rat is revered for its quick wits and its ability to accrue and hold on to items of value; rats are considered a symbol of good luck and wealth in both China and Japan. Clever and quick-witted, the Rat of the Chinese Zodiac is utterly disarming to boot. Possessed of excellent taste, this Sign flaunts its style at every turn. Its natural charm and sharp, funny demeanor make it an appealing friend for almost anyone. The Rat likes to know who is on its side and will treat its most loyal friends with an extra measure of protection and generosity.

Behind that sweet smile, though, Rats are keen and unapologetic promoters of their own agendas. This Sign is motivated by its own interests, which often include money; greed can become a problem if the Rat isn't careful to keep its priorities straight. This Sign's natural powers of charm and persuasion can definitely come in handy! Although they are often hoarders, Rats can be very generous to those in their pack, namely friends and family members who have proven their loyalty. Others might perceive them as quick-tempered and sharp-tongued, but never boorish. Verbal jousting is a great pleasure for the Rat, a Sign that everyone around will quickly learn either to love or to hate.

Rats enjoy being on the outside looking in, as the outside affords a view into the inner workings of a system or situation. The Rat's keen mind always seeks out new knowledge, to be stored away for future use. This ever-curious Sign also welcomes challenges as a way to stay sharp. If boredom sets in the Rat is no fun at all, but that isn't likely; this Sign knows how to keep itself entertained.

A valuable lesson for Rats is to learn to consider others above themselves, at least sometimes. If they can develop their sense of self and realize it leaves room for others in their life as well, Rats could find true happiness.

Could Addy be jealous?

He has been eating this box for days.

First trip to Target

Sing it!

You may not be able to see it, but M is rockin' out to Bob. (Dylan, of course.)

Did I say that?

Did I really say M. was developing a sleep routine?

I should have my degree from Kalamazoo College revoked. The only routine is no routine. Two nights ago, she was up on and off for a good 4 hours. We fed, sang, chatted, etc. from about 12:30-4:30 a.m. Yesterday, we went to bed at 10 p.m., and she only woke 3 times before 8 a.m. to feed and have diaper changes.

She loves to be unpredictable, I s'pose. The late nights are, of course, a crazy adjustment, but I appreciate all of them. Everyone tells me to enjoy these moments because pretty soon I won't even remember the sound of her newborn cry... or her frequent bouts of baby hiccups...or all the odd little squeaky noises she makes for no reason...or the feel of her soft, teeny bum, which fits in my palm. (Note to self: record baby cries, hiccups and squeakiness!)

Ah, but I was right about one thing: her umbilical cord fell off, and now she has a regular little belly button. The cord was missing for a while (and I secretly worried the dog ate it), but we found it. Thanks, Daddy, for tearing apart the bed.

Our baby is growing up... too fast!

Madeleine had a big week.

Born at 7 pounds and 2 ounces, she lost weight a few days after birth (as babies do) and fell to 6 pounds 13 ounces. By her first visit to the doctor on her eighth day (and thanks to my outstanding breastfeeding!), she was up to 7 pounds 10 ounces.

The doctor said her little reflexes indicated great development of her central nervous system. And the cord blood banking firm said she had NINE times the necessary sample for her collection to be valid. (She's an overachiever!)

And she has already begun to change her sleeping habits. The first night she was home, she cried for five hours straight (and I cried watching her cry). Since then, knock on wood, she has begun to sleep on and off during the night with waking periods for feeding and diaper changes every 1.5 to three hours. She's apparently a night owl and has been most alert so far from about 11 p.m. to 1:30 p.m. (on and off). She leaves us tired, of course, but we can already see new sleep patterns emerging.

And you can't see it in this picture, but her umbilical cord is nearing the stage where it falls off.

Sigh.

I love her progress, but boy, the time is flying. I wish it would slow.

I've missed you, lover!

I'm, of course, pretty exhausted, but I enjoy leaving the house for about one to two hours every one to two days to retain some normality. Today's field trip was to Bed Bath and Beyond so Patrick could review possible birthday presents for me. (I'm in love with this Cuisinart four-slice toaster.)

But we also took a quick detour to World Market to check out the close-out sale and decided to get a bottle of wine. I can only have a glass because of breastfeeding (and my low tolerance), but it was fun to shop for a bottle and be reminded of my previous passion for le vin!

I'll be interested to see whether my palette has changed. I used to love the Chateau St. Michelle Riesling but found it to be awfully sweet tonight. Still, it was lovely to sip a glass.

Quick supper

I really don't know why humans ever got away from relying on an extended network/family to get by. I know we'd be lost without my parents' help during this period. And thank goodness they do the cooking.

That said, I like to remind myself every so often that I used to love to cook. So I whipped up some of these easy appetizers tonight that served as a quick dinner: sun-dried tomato pesto and mozzarella on small baguette slices. Drizzle with olive oil and stick them in a 350-degree oven for about 5 minutes, then top with some fresh basil. Voila!

Lovely supper for two tired parents!

This is why we call her "pea pod."

Mmmm!

A date

Oh my!

Wine! I've been without it for about eight months, and I have certainly missed it. So I celebrated Valentine's Day with a lovely Trimbach Gewurztraminer during my date with my husband tonight.

Yes, I actually said Patrick and I went on a date to one of our fave restaurants -- Annam in Dearborn. My awesome parents volunteered to babysit so we could go out for a few hours. (We were so tired that we kept it to about two hours and had our first 6 p.m. dinner reservation ever. We usually make dinner reservations for about 9 p.m. and complain that more restaurants should have later dining hours. Ha ha!)

It was a terrific night. (I even resisted the urge to duck into the bathroom several times to call my folks to check on the baby.) Those few hours out gave us a chance to digest all we've been through this past week -- the surprising birth two weeks early, the extreme joy we felt first holding Madeleine, the amazing moments watching her make 15 different faces when she's waking up, the incredible exhaustion from the late-night feedings, the love we didn't know we were capable of.

We also enjoyed just talking and reminiscing about our first date...and just talkin' about whatever. We really needed to just sit down for a minute and chat. The time alone also made us recall our "other lives" of freedom -- restaurants, bars, sleeping in, spontaneous trips to Chicago, etc.

But I can honestly say, as I sit here writing this -- with little Madeleine sleeping on the couch next to me-- I'm so glad to have the life I now have.

Happy birthday Madeleine!

Wow! A whole week has gone by. Slow down, baby!

A birth story

As you know, Madeleine Cate Murphy came into the world on Feb. 7. What you may not know is how she came to be here several weeks early and how her entry forecasts -- I believe -- her amazing future.

Like Patrick and me, she wanted to wait until the end of Project Runway (in hopes Ricky would get kicked off!) but shortly thereafter she couldn't stand it anymore. She gave mom major pains, which I was sure was a false alarm (and I even proceeded to tell everyone at the hospital -- apologetically -- that the whole family was likely there in a false capacity). But soon enough, when it was determined that I was dilated to 3 cm and 90 percent effaced, the hospital staff was pretty sure we would stay.

The confirmation came when I started to throw up and then have what we later learned were called titanic contractions. Let me tell you, you don't want those. Now, I always thought I wouldn't be one of those moms, burdening everyone else in describing how painful their labor was and how it lasted forever, so bear with me because I don't really feel like labor was that bad, nor was the pregnancy. In fact, I have told almost everyone that my pregnancy was quite nearly blissful, and Patrick remarked on several occasions that I would probably miss it.

No, labor wasn't awful -- even when I began to have several contractions that lasted between six and nine minutes -- each! We muddled through, knowing that we were in store for the ultimate moment we'd been anticipating for so long. Sure, the contractions were mighty painful -- even doubling-over painful -- but I expected all that.

And when we heard ladies screaming in the adjacent rooms, the nurse promptly told me to ignore them. (My mom later said that all I really said was "Owwwww. Ooooowwwwwww!") The labor became easier with the epidural (which I didn't want but accepted because of the titanic contractions). The whole process was really beautiful up until the point that Madeleine's heart rate started to drop -- dramatically -- during my long contractions. The doctor remarked that he had never seen a uterus act like that.

We tried to wait it out but after a contraction that lasted about nine minutes, and several very anxious moments watching Madeleine's heart rate plummet again and then slowly creep back up, the doctor said we'd have to do a C-section to get the baby out -- fast. We knew it was serious when about 15 people swarmed in my room, and I was on the operating table in full blue garb and poofy surgical cap a few minutes later.

Madeleine was born about ten minutes later at 12:42 p.m. -- about 12 hours after we arrived. The bottom line, in my opinion, is that she wanted to make a grand entrance. (After all, the length of my contractions quickly turned to a sort of folklore with the hospital staff.)

So I predict great things for our beautiful little baby. Let's face it: It's obvious she likes to do things in a big way!

Perfection!

Goin' home.

Look at those feet!

Welcome Madeleine Cate!

Part of the D-tour

Atwater Brewery

One of these days...